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What’s Your Usp* (*unique Selling Point) Part One

Congratulations! You’ve decided to try on-line dating. Maybe you’re getting back into the dating scene after a long relationship, or a long dating hiatus. Or maybe you’ve been doing on-line dating for a while, but not getting the results you’d like. Whatever your situation, you’re going to need a good profile. It’s essential – especially on those sites where people are serious about wanting to meet other people, and you want to meet Ms. or Mr. Right!

What’s your USP?* (Unique Selling Point)

It’s a great, big cyberworld out there and you want to make sure that you’re recognized for who you are, right? You’re witty, charming, funny, and attractive. All good things. But what makes you different than those millions of other guys and girls? How can you differentiate yourself from the throng? How can you get the good ones to want to meet you? What’s your unique selling point? If this sounds like Marketing 101, you’re absolutely right. In essence, you’re marketing a product – you!

On-line dating is a great way to meet people, and you’ve got to do your share. That means having a great profile. But before you can have that great profile, you need to know some things. Many of you will say, I’m already doing on line dating and have a profile. But are you happy with the people you’re meeting? Are you getting the results you’d like?

It’s easy to put down a bunch of words in a couple of minutes and then press “submit.” But your on-line profile is still an extension of you. While photos play a big part, don’t think that they do everything!

You want to shine!

Writing a great profile is your chance to be viewed in the best light possible. You want your profile to shine, to show your energy and enthusiasm. You want it to pop! Bottom line – You want someone to go “Wow! I need to meet this person right now! So, for once it’s okay to make it all about you!*

Humble vs. Arrogant

*While it is all about you, a humble you will generally win over an arrogant you.

Getting started

Okay, you’re ready to write your profile. You’ve got 10 minutes before you’ve got to leave for that meeting. WRONG! Try and do this when you have at least half an hour to spare. Don’t try to do this in between meetings, ahhhhhem, during TV shows, commercials or while you’re microwaving leftovers (unless you have lots of leftovers).

Okay, so now you’ve made some time for yourself. That’s a start.

Take a deep breath, and relax. This isn’t supposed to be painful. But it will give your brain some exercise.

So, who are you?

What type of person are you?

• Are you a spur of the moment person, getting up and going at a moment’s notice?

• Are you very organized, always planning ahead with backup plans?

• Are you somewhere in the middle?

What’s your idea of a good time?

• Schussing down, or hiking up a mountain?

• Kayaking on a lazy river or white water rafting?

• Roller blading, horseback riding, fishing, camping, off-roading, gardening?

• Riding your Harley?

• Checking out museums and galleries?

• Season’s tickets to your favorite sports team?

• Watching movies at home?

• Travelling to foreign destinations? Swing dancing? Ballroom dancing? Any dancing?

Movies anyone?

• Do you like movies?

• Action and suspense?

• Horror?

• Sci-fi and fantasy?

• Comedies?

• Musicals?

• Dramas?

• Turner Classic Movies?

Music?

What about music?

Do you attend concerts or live music events?

What do you listen to at home and in your car?

• Rock?

• Classical?

• Jazz?

• Folk?

• Electronic?

• Hip hop?

• Talk radio?

• NPR?

For your reading pleasure…

Do you like to read?

What do you read for pleasure?

• Historical fiction?

• Mystery, suspense, adventure?

• Anything by Stephen King?

• Romance?

• Cookbooks?

• Biographies?

• Sci-fi?

• Non-fiction?

• Techie stuff?

• Sports stuff?

Be honest about your looks

Give a brief description of what you look like. A real description.

If you’re ever planning on actually meeting someone that you’ve corresponded with on-line, your profile better say what you actually look like. If it doesn’t, you’re going to be viewed with skepticism when you finally do meet that person. Hey, don’t look so shocked! If you look different from the description in your profile, what is someone going to think?

Tall, dark and…

If you wear glasses and didn’t mention it in your profile or you recently had your haircut or changed its color that’s easily forgiven. But saying you’re taller or thinner, or are fit and in shape, when in reality you’re shorter and wider, and have to wear baggy clothes to hide your “in shape-ness,” don’t think that it will go unnoticed. And don’t for a moment believe that you’re going to be able to rely on your great personality to win over someone. Why? Because you’re being less than up front from the get-go, and your date is probably asking himself or herself, “so what else did they lie about?”

A word about kids

If you’ve got kids living at home with you it’s really important to say so. Even if they live with you part-time, you need to say that. I’ve noticed that a high percentage of guys in the over-40 range talk about their kids in their profiles. Bravo, we want to know about that. Note: Though being up front about kids is a good thing, when I read this in a profile of a guy who said he was interested in me, “I’m not looking for a mother for my children or assistance in raising them, ‘that role is filled,’” I physically blanched! Whoa! What he’s not saying is that he doesn’t want anyone he dates to get close to his kids. That’s just for him and his ex. Sorry, not for me!

Ya gotta start somewhere…

Though many of us feel that we’re not great writers, we do know a lot about the subject at hand – ourselves. So put pen to paper and just start writing. Have fun with it! If you get stuck, ask a friend for help. After a while things will begin to take shape, and you’ll be on your way to a great profile about a great subject- you!

About the Author

Cookie Feldstein is a live wire, over 40 and actively dating. Her travails through the ever-changing dating maze will make you smile,laugh and give you added insight into the world of dating over forty.

Dan&Dan&Robby& their AMAZING dance!

The North Fork Valley Community Cookbook A collection of recipes by Camp Rock to support youth projects in the community, artwork by Michael Cassidy, Curielle Duffy project director….